A couple of things to think about: 1) compositionally, it does seem a bit counter-intuitive to have that big dome element being so completely masked by the foreground element on the right. We're being told to look for it by the direction of the walkway, but we can ultimately see it and it's frustrating. I'd suggest you need to put the dome structure into the composition much more so and make it your focal point. 2) I'm also wondering if this low angle view is the most dynamic, because essentially it offers us a view of the underside of the walkway, which isn't that fascinating (re. that walkway, it does seem noticeably 'non-organic' in relation to all the other elements in your scene? My instinct would be to move the camera into the scene and take it up a little further, so we just above the walkway, out eye travelling along it into the principle dome area. There's just something a bit frustrating about this composition in so much as all the most interesting stuff isn't yet in shot. The other issue is this: right now all your buildings appear to be completely smooth, without textures or embossing or similar. I wonder if, in line with your artist, that's truly representative of what preoccupied him; I'm thinking of all the striations and surface textures of the things he drew; is there a way you might think more architecturally about those details: for example:
OGR 20/11/2014
ReplyDeleteHey Jack,
A couple of things to think about: 1) compositionally, it does seem a bit counter-intuitive to have that big dome element being so completely masked by the foreground element on the right. We're being told to look for it by the direction of the walkway, but we can ultimately see it and it's frustrating. I'd suggest you need to put the dome structure into the composition much more so and make it your focal point. 2) I'm also wondering if this low angle view is the most dynamic, because essentially it offers us a view of the underside of the walkway, which isn't that fascinating (re. that walkway, it does seem noticeably 'non-organic' in relation to all the other elements in your scene? My instinct would be to move the camera into the scene and take it up a little further, so we just above the walkway, out eye travelling along it into the principle dome area. There's just something a bit frustrating about this composition in so much as all the most interesting stuff isn't yet in shot. The other issue is this: right now all your buildings appear to be completely smooth, without textures or embossing or similar. I wonder if, in line with your artist, that's truly representative of what preoccupied him; I'm thinking of all the striations and surface textures of the things he drew; is there a way you might think more architecturally about those details: for example:
http://www.torange.us/photo/6/13/Rivets-on-metal-1276874600_39.jpg
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/MgYhev_fhJLlkDooAG5k6JfIxTm3XB38y9jYPklSBRTq-7Sz6p4YUxJiQzEVSCZ1L1wNJn2BqF3iNvL2u_8mUndYuN_1sBJbogs9NjSdF6GpgPktI_o
http://static.dezeen.com/uploads/2012/04/dezeen_Titanic-Belfast-by-CivicArts-and-Todd-Architects_6.jpg
http://c1038.r38.cf3.rackcdn.com/group2/building13583/media/qwnx_bull_ring_birmingham.jpg